GOING AGAINST THE NORM- THE UNEXPLAINED HAPPINESS

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What would happen if we decide to go against the norm? We live in a world where we mostly concur with anything that was stated from the early days and we live by it. Let’s take a simple example on the alphabets, we know that the first alphabet is “A”. We found it as it is and we all agreed to that. But, what if the first alphabet was to be “M”. Sure, we could all go by it, because it is what we were taught and grew up beliveing. That is the same case for any other word, or process.
We all tend to go by what we grew up knowing and stuck to it. Though, have we ever thought about, what if we look at certain things from another angle on the periscope? I will pose a question to You. What would happen if you decided to give your own view about something, that was already given in another perspective and implanted in people’s minds?
So, I have been thinking on the word HAPPINESS lately. I have been doing my own research on it’s meaning and how people perceive happiness in their lives.
I could say, most of us have always had the same view on happiness. But before I get to that, the dictionary definition of happiness is; a state of being happy, contentment and a state of well-being. According to psychology, it defines happiness as; life’s experience marked by a preponderance of positive emotion.
I totally agree with all the definitions given above. Though, that is in theory. Mostly, we tend to find ourselves defining happiness according to things we have, the close relations with people, our family, our work, anything that makes us happy. This in general tends to leave our definition of happiness as, the joy and contentment or fulfilment we get from attributes that we have attached the name tag for our happiness.
You might be wondering what am referring to here, many of us tend to find ourselves feeling very happy when we are close to family, friends, partners ( any loved one in your life), when we have money, when we are out partying or swimming or doing some mountain climbing, I can write a whole list of where and how we have attached our happiness tag. Though that’s for another day.
The problem then arises when we have none of this. This is when all hell breaks lose and we change our smiles into frowns. Our favourite smiley emoji turns and becomes the frown emoji or even the tear-like emoji face. We feel broken, helpless and not at peace with our inner self.
Let’s say, we find happiness from being appreciated and told that the work we did was good. That is great and everyone should be appreciated. But, what happens when that one person who always applauds your work, doesn’t do it for a day. We tend to feel that we didn’t do anything good and keep wondering what was wrong with this current project that wasn’t applauded? We stress ourselves up and keep lamenting whereas the project was among the best presented. That will be our mood, low key and unhappy until someone else comes and appreciates our work and that’s when you see value in your work and tend to become happy again.
We find ourselves in such situations and we cannot do anything because we have attached our happiness to the applaud or to someone and we will always expect them to do something so that we are happy. Otherwise, our mood becomes low.
Back to what I have been thinking about. All that I have mentioned above was part of the thoughts that I had. We attach happiness to love, success, wealth, partying name it all.
I have precisely been thinking about one phrase that we hear each time and it relates to all that we attach our happiness to. It is said that people have the key to our happiness, which this days has also been attributed to the items and wealth we have. Well, I disagree with this point. ( I know you didn’t expect that) Here is the reason behind my opinion.
As i kept on thinking and doing my research, several questions kept popping up in my mind. My questions were; What if I have control over the key? What if, I am the one to have the key to my happiness and not attach it to anything?
I decided to do a self-test, where I took control of my own key. You control the key. I would say, it was a successful test, reason is because, you hardly get angry or have your moods alternating from low key to angry or pissed off whenever, what previously used to give you happiness is not there or an experience didn’t occur as you wanted it to.
The benefits were immense. You find peace from within and you worry less. This has been very beneficial because you got your own happiness key and you are the only person controlling whether to open the key for a certain feeling to get in or not. You control whether to let in sadness, anger to take over your happiness or lock them out using the key you have.
Unlike where the key happens to be attached with others or to objects or to an experience whereby if one decides to let you be unhappy, they simply open the way for unhappiness to get in and then overrule your happiness. This is the point where we got no control of our joy.
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I love this post! I always thing about things like your example of the alphabet! Happiness is very important!
That’s very true. Happiness is the foundation to everything great.
This is a great post. From personal experience, I became genuinely happier when I looked toward myself and defined happiness on my terms
Thanks and thank you for stopping by
This a great post. From my personal experience, I found myself being genuinely happy when I looked toward myself and defined happiness on my terms.
That’s the best fulfillment one can have by making themselves a priority. You get to have inner happiness. Thanks for sharing your view from the point of personal experience.
That’s an awesome piece. It takes learning to get to control that key but its the ultimate solution to life’s challenges. Many of us look to others and things for our happiness. Now we know better.
That’s very true, we mostly attach our happiness to people and items, ending up forgetting about our own inner happiness. Thanks for stopping by.